Dotty's Visit with Santa 2010

Dotty as Mary...

Dotty's school put on the "Christmas Story" yesterday. Dotty played Mary.

She was so sweet. They all were.

The teacher narrated and the children acted out the parts. Cooper Gee was Joseph. There were shepherds, an angel (she brought Baby Jesus to a sleeping Mary), a king and "queen" (due to the fact there are a lot more girls than boys in Dotty's class), and of course the "Bethlehem Inn" keeper.

All the children did great. I loved how much they all wanted to hold the Baby Jesus (and none were too happy to pass it on to the next child).

It was a great reminder of what the season is really supposed to be all about.

Pics to come soon!

Another Earache...

Another earache for little miss Dot.
She said she had one yesterday morning but she did not have a fever so I sent her to school. I told her teacher to watch her though.
At about 1pm the school called me and said she was still complaining about her ear but she was not running a fever.
I picked her up and took her to Clinic Care. We waited in the lobby for about an hour and in that time she started running a fever. By the time we saw a nurse she had 103 fever.
They gave her some Motrin and in 30 minutes it was down to 99.
We saw the doctor who said Dotty had the start of an ear infection. She gave her some antibiotics and told her to stay home from school for a day.
Memaw and Dotty are hanging out together today. I hope she feels well enough to be "Mary" in the Christmas Story tomorrow.

Praying...

Dotty and I pray every night. Usually I say the prayer and Dotty sort of mumbles along with me then gives a big "AMEN" when we are done.

Last night she told me she wanted to say the prayer...here is how it went...

"Dear Lord, Thank you for Jesus and for everybody. Thank you for Santa. Did you know Santa brings gifts to all the good girls and boys? He does! He also puts black rocks in the bad boys and girls stockings. I hope the bad boys and girls will be good so they don't have to get black rocks. Thank you for Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman. Thank you for the Baby Jesus. Did you know I am going to be Mary at school? Thank you for Mommy and Daddy and Nana and Papa and Memaw and Presley's Papaw and Kathy and Gary and Payton and Presley and everyone else...."

Then she looked at me and told me there were a lot of people she had to thank God for. I told her that was a good thing. She continuted...

"I love you God and I love Jesus and Santa and Tinkerbell....AMEN!"

Then she said..."How did I do Momma?"

Perfect...

Abominable...

This weekend Dotty went to Build a Bear with her Daddy. Now some girls might want a bear in a pink tutu. Some might want Clarice the Doe from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" tv special.

But my child...she gets the Abominable Snowman.

Then she takes it to school...hides it behind her back and then whips it out and growls at her classmates this morning.

Mrs. Connel just looked at me. I blamed her Daddy...

This too shall pass...

In writing this blog I have hopes that someday Dotty can read it. I hope this will be my version of a "baby book" for Dotty (since I have not touched her actual one since she was about a week old).

I write about a lot of things but not everything. I try to be funny (although many of my friends and family members will claim I am in fact not funny at all...I still try). I know in life things are difficult at times and quite often the only two choices are tears or laughter...I try to choose the latter.

Last night though was a time of tears for Dotty and there was nothing I could do about it. It was painful. While I don't enjoy writing about painful or sad topics I do want Dotty to know that there were tears, there were sad times, there was pain...but we got through it. We came out okay. We came out better, stronger, happier, and healthier.

Last night Dotty had a "dance recital". Tony, Nana, Memaw, and I all attended. It was very cute. Dotty was VERY cute.

Tony drove all the way in to see Dotty dance for maybe 5 minutes total. Then he and Nana took Dotty to eat and then he dropped her off to me at the house and he headed back to Frisco.

Dotty seemed fine at first but then when he drove off the tears started. She cried for over 20 minutes saying over and over and over again "I want my Daddy."

It truly broke my heart.

I am so glad Dotty loves her Daddy so much. And I am so glad Tony makes all the efforts he does to come see Dotty.

But last night was hard.

Dotty wanted nothing to do with me. She said she hated me (although I reminded her we do not use the word "hate"...I hated myself too).

She pulled away when I tried to hug her. She said she did not love me every time I told her I loved her.

So I did the hardest thing ever. I sat in the chair in the living room and let her cry it out. Listen to her call for Tony and hearing her sobs almost killed me.

I wanted to cry too (and a tear did fall) but I know that a child needs a parent who can keep it together when she cannot. I know a lot of Dotty's tears were because she was tired. I know she loved me she just missed her Daddy. So I sat and waited.

After 20 minutes she did cry out for me and I went running! I grabbed her up. Kissed her all over. Told her I loved her a million times. Told her I know she missed her Daddy. That it was okay to miss him. It is okay to cry and be sad at times because everyone is sometimes. I hugged her and told her she would see her Daddy soon.

Then I gave her a Christmas cookie and we took down several ornaments on our tree so we could "decorate" it again.

She was fine. I was fine. The moment passed.

It reminded me that everything passes. The good and the bad.

I won't lie to those of you who read this, to me, or to Dotty...this past year or so has been very hard for me, Tony, Dotty, and lots of people. This past year I have cried more than ever. I have fought back tears daily. I have hurt beyond any amount of pain I knew I could withstand.

I have learned a lot though. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined. That Tony is a better Dad than I ever imagined. That divorces do not have to be bitter and hurtful. That you can still love someone even if you can no longer live with them. That I have great friends and family. That I have the best little girl in the whole wide world (okay I already knew that last one).

Jeri tells me that Dotty won't remember these times and I know Dotty won't remember much. I have thanked God every night that all this happened when Dotty was little. I don't know what I would have done if she was 6 or 8 or 18.

The hard part is I will remember nights like last night. They will forever be printed in my mind and my heart.

I will also always remember the times I woke up with Dotty snuggled up to me...warm and sweet.

Like everything that too will pass. Before I know it Dotty will be too big to want her Mommy to sleep with her, she will be off at college, married, etc.

Everything passes...the good and the bad. It is up to us to enjoy the good and endure the bad. So far...so good.

Don't want to...

Last night Dotty was up late...past 11pm.

So this morning Dotty did not want to get up. She did not want to do a lot of things.

She did not want to eat breakfast.
She did not want to brush her teeth or her hair.
She did not want a bow in her hair.
She did not want to go to school.
She did not want to dance tonight at her program.
She did not want to get dressed.
She did not want to wear panties.

Fun times.

She did eat breakfast...chicken nuggets.
She did brush her teeth and I did brush her hair.
She did not wear a bow. (I pick my battles.)
She did go to school (we were late...as usual).
Who knows what will happen tonight.
She did get dressed...in the same thing she wore Tuesday to school.
She did wear panties (after much debate on which pair to wear and then my demanding that she put them on.)

Fun times.