Lessons Learned...at 10pm

Last night Dotty and I both learned another "life lesson". We learned our lessons at 10pm (or sometime after that) and after a couple of hours of Dotty being...well just cranky.

Dotty seemed tired to me yesterday. Blame it on the heat. Blame it on a short nap. Whatever...but she seemed non-too-happy.

At 7:30 I made her take a bath and...gasp...wash her hair! According to Dotty, that made me the worst mother ever!

Then I let her watch tv in bed until 9pm when I made her...gasp...turn it off! Again, worst mother ever according to my child.

After an hour of me telling Dotty to...
Stop playing
Stop kicking me
Stop demanding I turn on the tv again
Stop getting out of bed
Stop making excuses
And...GO TO SLEEP!
The final straw was when Dotty pulled my hair...I was done.

I got out of her bed and got in my bed. Normally I lay with Dotty until she goes to sleep and then I go sleep in my bed the rest of the night but tonight I was done.

I told Dotty she would have to go to sleep on her own, by herself, in her bed.
Let the wailing begin.

Dotty cried loudly and at first begged me to come sleep with her (pleases included) ...then she demanded that I come sleep with her...then she said she never wanted me to sleep with her again!

I remained calmly in my bed and with each burst of tears and yelling of words I would simply say "Dotty go to sleep."
After about 10 times of that and a good minute...maybe minute and a half...Dotty was out.

See, I told you she was tired.

While it was a very short time that I listened to her cry, it felt like an eternity to me. I prayed asking God to give me the strength to not give in. I knew I had warned Dotty over and over again and I needed to stand firm (because as the old country song goes...You have got to stand for something or you will fall for anything...).

I knew if I caved then Dotty would try to make me cave again and again and again. But if I stood firm then maybe the next time Dotty would listen to me because she knew I wasn't making a threat...I was giving her a promise. And the next time might not be about going to bed...it might be about running into the street, talking to strangers...or later on...taking drugs, drinking and driving, missing curfew, etc.

I don't know what lays ahead for me and Dotty but I know I am trying to get my bluff in now when she is 3 because if I wait until she is 13 it will be too late.

So another lesson learned for Dotty...a million or so to go.

The lesson I learned last night is one I already knew but I seem to be reminded of just how true it is every time I am faced with it. When I was young and got in trouble my parents would always say the old saying "this hurts me more than it hurts you". Back then I did not see how in the world it could. Now I see that while they were punishing me, it was breaking their hearts.

As a parent you never want to see your child sad or mad or hurt or crying
...especially if you are the one who brought on such things...but there is a time and a place where such things are needed.

Dotty was asleep in less than 90 seconds...I was up for well over an hour worried that she would hate me in the morning...or when she is 16. I love Dotty so much and I never want her to be upset with me but I also know that the right choice is usually the hardest one to make...and that is what I try to show Dotty every day of her life.

This morning Dotty woke up and her first words to me were...Can I watch Peppa Pig on the living room tv?

But her second words to me were...I love you Momma!

At that is the end of our lesson today.