Remember Today is a Good Day...

This past Friday was a hard one. With all the violence in the elementary school in Connecticut, I had such a hard time wrapping my mind around the situation. How could someone do something so terrible…to anyone…but especially to children?

Friday was a day when Brittany was supposed to get Dotty from school and I was not going to have Dotty back with me until Sunday afternoon. Thankfully Brittany is an amazing person and mom and she understood when I called to tell her I just needed to see Dotty…if only for a few minutes. Today of all days…I needed to hug and hold my precious child.

So I went to Dotty’s school to get her from class. I let the tears fall all the way there. I thought of all the parents and especially all the mothers who would not get to pick their kids up from school again. It was a thought my heart could not bear. I sobbed…for those that had lost so much. I prayed for their families and for God to hold them in His arms and give them all the comfort He could so they could make it through the next day, hour, minute…moment. I can’t imagine how I would even begin to go on after a tragedy like that.

Before I walked into Dotty’s room I composed myself…wiped my tears…and put on a smile. Dotty would never understand what happened and I didn’t want her to see it written all over my face. (I have always tried to shield Dotty from the bad things in life…whether they were things going wrong in the world as we know it…or in “our little world” as we know it. I have always tried to be strong for her and never let her see me shaken. Now whether or not that mentality is right or wrong I don’t know but it is a rule I have followed. I try to be her rock…steady and strong…always.)

As I grabbed up Dotty for a “hello hug” I just didn’t let go. I carried her all the way to the car (even though she is getting quite heavy at this point). I held her in my arms for some time once I sat her in the car. And the amazing thing was…she let me hold her. She sat so still and quiet and just let me hold her (which as most of you know 5 year olds are busy…they like to move and they like to talk…especially Dotty…she LOVES to talk!). But this time we both just sat in the car holding on to each other in silence.

Then Dotty whispered to me “I could hug you forever.”

Well my rock status waivered. I shed a tear and bit hard on my lip. Then whispered, “I love you more than you will ever know.”

At that point Dotty pulled away and turned back into her typical 5 year old girl self. She rattled on about her pajama day at school…what everyone was wearing…how good the movie was…how much she liked the hot chocolate and popcorn. Then she ended by saying “Today was a good day Momma.”

I sat so still thinking…not for some. Today was the worst day ever for some.

But for my kid…today was a good day. And for me…any day on this earth that I get to know that my kid is happy, healthy, and safe is a good day.

No matter what.

No matter what happens at work. No matter what my checking account says. No matter what the scales say. No matter how I feel physically. No matter what.

I can get bogged down in a million little things that might make me think a day is “not a good day” but no matter what…if Dotty is good…then the day is good.
I have got to remember ALWAYS to not take life…especially the life I share with Dotty…for granted. Not even for a moment. This life is too short as is even if we live to be 100 but it is especially too short if tragedy cuts it short. We are not promised tomorrow and I need to make sure every day is a day I treasure.

I am borrowing this next line from “Hands Free Momma” which is a blog I follow…she wrote…
“While I cannot control what happens once they leave my side, I can control what happens in those sacred minutes before we say good-bye.”

Then she made a point to always stop and hug and kiss her kids before they leave no matter what! No matter if they are late…if it is raining and they are getting soaked…no matter what. She even made a sign with her kindergartener that says “XOXO – Before You Go!” which is now on their back door to remind them to always take the time.

I plan to make one of those signs too. It is always good to remember to tell your kids…and to tell everyone…how much you love them. Because we don’t know when it will be the last time we see them.

I know Friday was a horrible day. I am not trying to say otherwise. It makes me cry just typing this up right now. I can’t imagine such a loss.

But I am always reminded when I hear of any senseless loss of life that I don’t know why things like this happen. But I do know that I need to cherish Dotty more every day. Because every day I have with her is a good day.