Happy New Year!

The best New Year's Eve of my life was spent at home...in my pajamas...sitting in a chair...dozing off and on before midnight. That was Dec. 31, 2007. My very first New Year's Eve with Dotty.

Tony and I stayed home. I was sitting in the rocking chair holding a sleeping baby girl when 2008 came in. I was so happy.

Many years past I had been to parties or just out having a big time with friends but this year topped them all. I could not imagine doing anything else than just holding my precious daughter.

She was my future and I was crazy in love with her. Every year I think is the best year with Dotty...that things can't get much better...but every year they do. I know 2011 will be just as great...if not better in regards to Dotty.

I hope you all have a Happy and Safe New Year!

Wedding Woes...

Dotty lately has been saying she will be sad when her daddy and I get married. I was so confused at to what she meant and why she started saying such things. She has even asked her Nana if she will take care of her when her mommy and daddy get married.

Finally I had to ask Dotty why she thought such a thing. I wanted to know why she thought either of her parents were getting married and why she thought something bad would happen to her if we did.

I asked her, "What happens when two people get married?"
Dotty's reply, "You have to stand on a cake."

Hmmm...oh yes...in the movie "The Little Mermaid" when Eric is going to marry Vanessa there are little figures of the two on the cake.

So I asked her, "Why do you think you will have to live somewhere else if Mommy or Daddy got married?"
Her answer, "Because Ariel had to leave her daddy and she didn't have a mommy."

Well yes...in the movie you never hear about Ariel's mommy and Ariel does become a human to marry Prince Eric. She has to leave her daddy because she can't live with the "merfolk" anymore.

I tried to explain all this to Dotty. I am not sure my message got through though. For now I am banning "The Little Mermaid" from our video selection.

Kathy's Gifts...

Dotty loves her Kathy and Gary. In fact, she loves them so much that on Christmas Eve she wrapped up one of her gifts to give to Kathy. She has been determined to give it to Kathy and Gary ever since that day. She has waken up in the middle of the night wanting to take the gift to Kathy. She has had the gift in the car and demanded I take her to Kathy's house. She has reminded me 100 times she has a gift for Kathy.

Finally today Dotty was spending the day with Kathy and she was so excited to give Kathy her gift. The wrapping paper was all wadded up and almost gone but Kathy acted thrilled to get it. I am sure they will have a lot of fun with the dolls Dotty gave her.

My only question is whether or not Dotty will come home tonight with the gift or if they will truly stay at Kathy's...I will keep you posted.

Dotty

Santa Forgot the Toilet Paper...

When Dotty got back to the house yesterday from spending the weekend with her daddy I had all her new toys lined up and waiting on her. She got lots of great gifts and with all the rush of trying to make it to all the parties she did not have a chance to really play with most of it.

We walked in and Dotty looked around at all the new items. Then she headed to the bathroom. After several minutes I decided to see what was up.

Dotty had taken and pulled about 4 feet of toilet paper off the roll and was pretending it was Rapunzel's hair (she got the actual Rapunzel wig from Memaw but I guess that was not as fun as good 'ol TP).

Dotty spent a good 30 minutes playing with the toilet paper. It was Rapunzel's hair, it was used to measure Dotty, it was broken off into squares to be napkins for a tea party, it was a bridge, it was a snake, it was all sorts of wonderful things.

I vowed then and there that next year no matter what Dotty asks Santa for she is getting the giant pack of Charmin from Sam's. I bet she will LOVE it!

Merry Christmas

Dotty had a great Christmas. Of course Santa was way too good to her!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Junior's Cheesecake

Today our UPS driver brought me a Chocolate Swirl Cheesecake from Junior's Cheesecake located in New York.

The card read...

Merry Christmas, Mommy. I love you...so much! I hope you have the best Christmas ever. Love, Dot

Tony and I looked all over New York City to find Junior's the first time we visited. It truly has the best cheesecakes in the world.

I have a really wonderful daughter...and her Daddy does some really sweet things too.

Thanks to both of them for making my Christmas that much sweeter!

Where does Rapunzel live?

Monday night Dotty went with me and Memaw to see the Burns Fantasy of Lights at MSU. She has been a few times already but since Memaw and I had not she offered to give us the tour.

She loved looking at all the lights and one of her favorites was the robot that blew bubbles.

Before we left she pointed up to the tower at MSU and said...
"Rapunzel lives there. But since it is dark out she must be asleep."

I have never been up in that tower. For all I know Rapunzel might just live up there!

Vision of Lists Running Round in Her Head

Dotty had a little trouble going to sleep last night. She tossed. She turned. She snuggled. She wiggled. She almost rolled off the bed.

She finally sat up and looked at me with half closed, sleepy eyes and said...

"Momma I just can't go to sleep. I have too many toys I want to ask Santa for."

So much for the sugar plums.

Dotty's Visit with Santa 2010

Dotty as Mary...

Dotty's school put on the "Christmas Story" yesterday. Dotty played Mary.

She was so sweet. They all were.

The teacher narrated and the children acted out the parts. Cooper Gee was Joseph. There were shepherds, an angel (she brought Baby Jesus to a sleeping Mary), a king and "queen" (due to the fact there are a lot more girls than boys in Dotty's class), and of course the "Bethlehem Inn" keeper.

All the children did great. I loved how much they all wanted to hold the Baby Jesus (and none were too happy to pass it on to the next child).

It was a great reminder of what the season is really supposed to be all about.

Pics to come soon!

Another Earache...

Another earache for little miss Dot.
She said she had one yesterday morning but she did not have a fever so I sent her to school. I told her teacher to watch her though.
At about 1pm the school called me and said she was still complaining about her ear but she was not running a fever.
I picked her up and took her to Clinic Care. We waited in the lobby for about an hour and in that time she started running a fever. By the time we saw a nurse she had 103 fever.
They gave her some Motrin and in 30 minutes it was down to 99.
We saw the doctor who said Dotty had the start of an ear infection. She gave her some antibiotics and told her to stay home from school for a day.
Memaw and Dotty are hanging out together today. I hope she feels well enough to be "Mary" in the Christmas Story tomorrow.

Praying...

Dotty and I pray every night. Usually I say the prayer and Dotty sort of mumbles along with me then gives a big "AMEN" when we are done.

Last night she told me she wanted to say the prayer...here is how it went...

"Dear Lord, Thank you for Jesus and for everybody. Thank you for Santa. Did you know Santa brings gifts to all the good girls and boys? He does! He also puts black rocks in the bad boys and girls stockings. I hope the bad boys and girls will be good so they don't have to get black rocks. Thank you for Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman. Thank you for the Baby Jesus. Did you know I am going to be Mary at school? Thank you for Mommy and Daddy and Nana and Papa and Memaw and Presley's Papaw and Kathy and Gary and Payton and Presley and everyone else...."

Then she looked at me and told me there were a lot of people she had to thank God for. I told her that was a good thing. She continuted...

"I love you God and I love Jesus and Santa and Tinkerbell....AMEN!"

Then she said..."How did I do Momma?"

Perfect...

Abominable...

This weekend Dotty went to Build a Bear with her Daddy. Now some girls might want a bear in a pink tutu. Some might want Clarice the Doe from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" tv special.

But my child...she gets the Abominable Snowman.

Then she takes it to school...hides it behind her back and then whips it out and growls at her classmates this morning.

Mrs. Connel just looked at me. I blamed her Daddy...

This too shall pass...

In writing this blog I have hopes that someday Dotty can read it. I hope this will be my version of a "baby book" for Dotty (since I have not touched her actual one since she was about a week old).

I write about a lot of things but not everything. I try to be funny (although many of my friends and family members will claim I am in fact not funny at all...I still try). I know in life things are difficult at times and quite often the only two choices are tears or laughter...I try to choose the latter.

Last night though was a time of tears for Dotty and there was nothing I could do about it. It was painful. While I don't enjoy writing about painful or sad topics I do want Dotty to know that there were tears, there were sad times, there was pain...but we got through it. We came out okay. We came out better, stronger, happier, and healthier.

Last night Dotty had a "dance recital". Tony, Nana, Memaw, and I all attended. It was very cute. Dotty was VERY cute.

Tony drove all the way in to see Dotty dance for maybe 5 minutes total. Then he and Nana took Dotty to eat and then he dropped her off to me at the house and he headed back to Frisco.

Dotty seemed fine at first but then when he drove off the tears started. She cried for over 20 minutes saying over and over and over again "I want my Daddy."

It truly broke my heart.

I am so glad Dotty loves her Daddy so much. And I am so glad Tony makes all the efforts he does to come see Dotty.

But last night was hard.

Dotty wanted nothing to do with me. She said she hated me (although I reminded her we do not use the word "hate"...I hated myself too).

She pulled away when I tried to hug her. She said she did not love me every time I told her I loved her.

So I did the hardest thing ever. I sat in the chair in the living room and let her cry it out. Listen to her call for Tony and hearing her sobs almost killed me.

I wanted to cry too (and a tear did fall) but I know that a child needs a parent who can keep it together when she cannot. I know a lot of Dotty's tears were because she was tired. I know she loved me she just missed her Daddy. So I sat and waited.

After 20 minutes she did cry out for me and I went running! I grabbed her up. Kissed her all over. Told her I loved her a million times. Told her I know she missed her Daddy. That it was okay to miss him. It is okay to cry and be sad at times because everyone is sometimes. I hugged her and told her she would see her Daddy soon.

Then I gave her a Christmas cookie and we took down several ornaments on our tree so we could "decorate" it again.

She was fine. I was fine. The moment passed.

It reminded me that everything passes. The good and the bad.

I won't lie to those of you who read this, to me, or to Dotty...this past year or so has been very hard for me, Tony, Dotty, and lots of people. This past year I have cried more than ever. I have fought back tears daily. I have hurt beyond any amount of pain I knew I could withstand.

I have learned a lot though. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined. That Tony is a better Dad than I ever imagined. That divorces do not have to be bitter and hurtful. That you can still love someone even if you can no longer live with them. That I have great friends and family. That I have the best little girl in the whole wide world (okay I already knew that last one).

Jeri tells me that Dotty won't remember these times and I know Dotty won't remember much. I have thanked God every night that all this happened when Dotty was little. I don't know what I would have done if she was 6 or 8 or 18.

The hard part is I will remember nights like last night. They will forever be printed in my mind and my heart.

I will also always remember the times I woke up with Dotty snuggled up to me...warm and sweet.

Like everything that too will pass. Before I know it Dotty will be too big to want her Mommy to sleep with her, she will be off at college, married, etc.

Everything passes...the good and the bad. It is up to us to enjoy the good and endure the bad. So far...so good.

Don't want to...

Last night Dotty was up late...past 11pm.

So this morning Dotty did not want to get up. She did not want to do a lot of things.

She did not want to eat breakfast.
She did not want to brush her teeth or her hair.
She did not want a bow in her hair.
She did not want to go to school.
She did not want to dance tonight at her program.
She did not want to get dressed.
She did not want to wear panties.

Fun times.

She did eat breakfast...chicken nuggets.
She did brush her teeth and I did brush her hair.
She did not wear a bow. (I pick my battles.)
She did go to school (we were late...as usual).
Who knows what will happen tonight.
She did get dressed...in the same thing she wore Tuesday to school.
She did wear panties (after much debate on which pair to wear and then my demanding that she put them on.)

Fun times.

Kathy's Girl

Today Dotty is getting to spend the day with Kathy and Gary. According to Nana Dotty went running into Kathy's arms.

I know Dotty misses Kathy and Gary so much since we moved. I am really glad she is getting to spend the day with two of her favorite people!

We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends in our lives!

Things That Make You Go...HMMMM...

So Dotty has asked me a few really tough questions. Lately they are as follows...

Have I met Santa?
Have I met Rudolf or Frosty?
Can she ride in Santa's Sleigh?
Have I ever met the Baby Jesus?
Did Jesus ever get spanked?

She also asks good ones throughout the year...

Why can't she go to Elmo Live every day?
Why can't Dora come to play at her house?
Where does Boots live?
Can she trade me in for a new momma?
Can I buy her a Prince Eric at Walmart?


Last night Dotty was in my bathroom watching me wash my face. A few questions were asked...

Why do I wash my face every night?
Why do I not put on makeup to sleep in?
Why can she not wear makeup to sleep in?
What are these things?

That last one had me looking down to see what Dotty was talking about. She had opened up the doors to the part underneath the bathroom sink and had found my "feminine products".

I was totally stumped so being a good mom I asked her what she thought they were. She said they were used to mark the finish line of a race.

Soooo I went with that...and we raced up and down the hallway until she forgot to ask me anything else about what she found under the sink.

(By the way...I have a new location...up high!)

Visit with Santa

Yesterday Dotty took her annual picture with Santa Claus. (Pics to be posted later.)
She did very well.
She was super excited to see the Jolly 'Ol Man...right up until the moment came when she was actually going to have to sit in his lap.
She hesitated.
She was shy.
BUT....she did get in his lap.
She did tell him she wanted a Rapunzel Tower and that Payton wanted a basketball.
She did tell him thank you for the candy cane.
And she did smile...sort of.
Dotty talked to Santa so quietly I am not sure he heard a word of it but he smiled and was great with her.
The minute we walked out of the room though my child talked loud enough for Mrs. Claus in the North Pole to hear her and she rambled on for a good 30 minutes about her version of her Santa experience.
(In her version she plays the leading lady who is not only full of information about Rudolf, Frosty, naughty boys and girls...of which she gave names...but also sang to Santa in a way that any Broadway producer would be proud of....no singing actually took place.)

HO HO HO!

Mount Montz...

Yesterday Dotty and I went to see my Dad (Presley's Papa as Dotty refers to him) out at the barns in Charlie.

The shelling equipment we use to shell pecans dumps all the pecan shells outside the barn in this massive hill. Of course being a kid...Dotty had to climb the hill.

After about 30 minutes and numerous trips climbing up the hill then sliding, jumping, running, or sometimes falling down the hill. Dotty was DIRTY!

She loved it though and it was fun to watch her. Although cleaning her was probably less fun. I handed her over to her Daddy for that process!

Fighting All Night...

Dotty talks a lot in her sleep. Actually Dotty fights with people in her sleep most of the time. She argues with Presley, her friends at school, Elmo, Dora, random strangers, etc.

I don't like to sleep with Dotty for this exact reason. She yells, she wiggles around, she has even thrown a punch or two.

Last night (or rather this morning) at 4am Dotty woke up needing food. (By the way...I totally blame this trait on her Memaw...the notorious night eater!)

Anyway...after eating a banana...with her eyes closed mind you...Dotty asked me to sleep with her. Since I only had less than an hour and a half left before my alarm went off I thought...what the heck.

As we were drifting off to sleep with our faces close together because she was snuggled up so close to me Dotty was pretty much asleep and so was I when all of sudden...

Dotty yelled out "FLASHLIGHT!"

Now I have no idea why she said this. I don't know if she does either. It seemed to startle both of us but she just smiled sleepily and then go back to sleep.

I kissed her nose and tried to do the same.

The next hour was spent with Dotty kicking me, yelling at Presley, and claiming everything was hers!

I got out of bed at 5:15am. The final kick to the kidney did me in.

Potty Wars...

Dotty has a lot of tee tee accidents lately. I have no idea why. My only idea as to what to do is to have Dotty at least TRY to go the potty as often as possible.

Last night before her bath I told her she had to at least sit on the potty and try to tee tee.

"I don't HAVE TO potty." Dotty said.
"You need to try." I said.
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
"Yes."
"NOOOOO!!!!"
Long pause...

"Yep...you do."

Finally after a good five minutes she sat on the potty and would you know it...she tee teed.

This morning was Round 2.

Before we left for school I said, "Dotty you need to try and go potty."
"I don't have to potty."
"You have to try."
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
"Yes."
"NOOOOO!!!!"
Long pause...

"Yep...you do."

20 minutes later, Dotty had gone potty and we were headed to school.
Late of course.

Note to Elmo...

Last night Me, Dotty, Memaw, Presley, Keri, and Pretty (Linda) all went to see "Elmo's Green Thumb". We had floor seats on the aisle so Presley and Dotty got to hug and high five a lot of the Sesame Street characters.

There was one though that they did not get close enough to. Elmo.

Before the show Dotty had "written Elmo a note" and she wanted to give it to Elmo. When the show ended she cried because she did not get to give Elmo her note.

Lucky for us a security guard (who either must have children of his own...either small or at one time small) offered to take the note to Elmo.

Thank you Mr. Unknown Security Guard.

Dotty went to sleep happy knowing Elmo had read her note.

(By the way...according to Dotty the note said..."Tell Tinker Bell to grant me a wish. Love Dotty." At some point I need to explain to Dotty that Tinker Bell and Elmo have different agents.)