Helpless...

Being the parent of a small child, even one that can talk, is a hard job when your baby is sick. While Dotty can talk and say almost anything (and sometimes she says too much) she is still too young to tell me exactly how she feels at times. This is true when her feelings are hurt, when she is sad, when she is tired, and especially when she is sick.

Last Sunday Dotty ran a high fever in the afternoon and then before she fell asleep she threw up all over me and her and the chair we were sitting in. Luckily (for me and Dotty but not necessarily for her) Mom was over at the house and was able to clean up Dotty while I cleaned up me and the chair.

Monday Dot did not run a fever and she played pretty good but she was still tired. Tuesday I sent her to school but she came home with a slight rash (the doctor said it was from having the fever) and she still just did not seem to be herself.

She went to see Kathy and Gary on Wednesday. She had missed them so much and was really looking forward to the day. Kathy said she was good (although I think Kathy would tell me she was good even if she was totally terrible) and they had a great time. By 4:30 that day though Dotty was cranky and very weepy. She said her eyes hurt (which Mom and I assumed it was a headache) and then she fell asleep. She slept from 5pm that night until 6am the next day. Of course she got up from time to time to fuss, change a diaper, and take a sippy but I was worried at how long she had slept.

Thursday she was still saying her eyes hurt and she was still very crabby and crying a lot. She went with Ruth Ann to go home to see Tony and I was glad to hear she got better in a hurry and is still doing very well today. Sometimes the best medicine is just being with your Daddy.

However, I still felt so helpless during the week. When Dotty would cry and seem so weak and sad and sick I just felt so lost and useless. All I could do was hold her and pat her and whisper to her that it would be alright...even if I wasn't sure what to do to make it be alright.

As a parent that is the worst feeling in the world. To see your child hurting, sad or sick and to know you can't do anything to help except for just be there for them, hug them, and love them. I know many times in Dotty's life she will get sick again (and I thank God every day for how healthy she is) and I pray that my hugs and kisses and loving words will help in any way they can.